First Week with our Baby

 Sunday: June 10th

We are Home!! The minute the sliding doors opened and the nurse wheeled Micaela and I out to Dennis it felt really real! We are on our own with this. The car ride home started great but ended being a crying  session for our baby. 

We get home from hospital...and we were ready to enjoy our little one. We gave her a tour of her nursery we brought her up to our room.  She ate a little then we ordered pizza as we were starving. Micaela started at around 9pm to get  so so fussy.  She cried until 5am. Nothing was working.  She kept crying at my breast and we could not figure out why. Dennis got pretty stressed since he couldnt do anything to fix it. Finally she calmed down a bit at around 300 am and thats when I told Dennis to sleep while I rocked her. At about 400 she woke up again balling! I finally called Karla at about 5am. She told  me to give her a bottle. After all the facts I've been drilled with about waiting 4 weeks for a bottle I did not even wait 4 days! She calmed after that and finally we all go a bit of rest.  My poor baby...rough first night.

Monday: June 11th

We woke up with a few hours of sleep. We decided to go to the breast feeding consultant. D dropped me off at Patty's class as I did not know guys were allowed. I cried a lot just trying to explain what was going on with feeding. She made me wear a nipple shield and feed with the sns or as I call it the bird feeder. No bottles allowed she said because the more bottles she gets the less effective she will be at the breast. She also noted that Micaela was a bit dehydrated and jaundice was evident still. Overall I left feeling relieved but worried about my baby. Turns out I was so engorged that she could not latch...my milk had not completely come in so that was making it even worse.  I had to pump often as well to bring in my real milk supply.

We met our Pediatrician Dr Kohen that afternoon at 2pm. She confirmed that Micaela is dehydrated. Lost weight which is normal and has not pooped since the hospital. Her jaundice needs to get better so in order for that to happen she needs to poop and pee it out. She said I have to supplement with formula. I was pretty devasted to hear I was starving my child. I went home feeling so guilty and just like a failure. I now had to feed her breast milk and formula to get her jaundice better.It was a hard first two days at home and after so many tears I knew everything could only get better.

That evening Uncle John and auntie Michele came to meet her for the first time. They were at Shane's high school graduation when Micaela was born. It's weird but when Michele told me they were going around those days I knew they would be gone when she would be born. I mean isn't that the way life always happens!! Michele did great with Micks instantly rocking her to sleep.. While John was a little afraid to hold her. He did so for a few photos. They brought us dinner and  the boys built the swing. It was a nice night. 

Tuesday: June 12th

Sleep is few and far between... But we know visitors will be pouring in. Grandma Debi and Grandpa Mike come visit from Murrieta and they brought us yummy dinner. They are truly in love with Micaela. Mom P cant get enough holding. It was so awesome to see them so excited. 

Wednesday: June 13th

We both went to breast feeding class this time.  Patty is pushing for us to use the sns and I just can't stand using it! She reassures us breast feeding will get easier. I really hope so because it takes an hour and a half to feed her and it's such a huge challenge. Then I have to pump then it's time to feed again. My mami and Papi visit and love her too! My mom bathes her of course...her favorite thing to do. They bring us groceries and dinner.

Thursday: June 14th

We go to the lacation consult in LBC. This appointment was much better as Kim sets a more realistic plan for feeding. We are to feed on demand, pump often and use bottles as needed. I can handle that. Micaelas weight is good and her jaundice is nearly gone! Lisa comes to visit she bring these amazing meals for us! Natalie came over to meet our little one! She was so sweet to drop off bags of groceries for us!! 

Friday: June 15th 

 By today we only have Dr Kuehans appointment. She confirms that Micaelas jaundice is better and we are doing all the right things. 

Laura, Merve and Flynn come visit. Dennis was pretty nervous about Flynn since they terrified us about toddler germs and newborns. I would not let that stop our fmaily from meeting Micaela...she would be fine! They were so awesome to bring us sandwhiches and we chatted a little while. They left after a couple hours. 

Saturday:June 16

 My Mom came in the morning with food for us. Annette, Steven and EJ came that morning as well! Love little Esteban..he is such a doll. We found out ANnette is a couple weeks old and I was so excited! I gave her some pregger clothes. Then DC and cole came and they brought Micki the cutest little outfits. I loved that DC was so willing to hold M IT WAS ADORABLE.  That evening Dave and Brayley came too. PHEW!! Lots of visitors but we had a blast. 

This was probably the most challenging week of my life. I'm trying to recover from my labor. I'm bleeding down there and I still have stitches. I'm sore and just really uncomfortable. I'm exhausted from the labor and then little sleep I've gotten. I have not been sleeping in the day with all of these appointments then visitors. Emotionally I'm a wreck! All I wanted to do was breast feed and it has become a nightmare. I became engorged so she could not latch on.. And I am just not producing enough. All of this is transitional but still hard to deal with. Ive been crying a ton which is expected the first week but I still can't help to feel horrible for doing so. Dennis continues to be my rock  and be supportive with whatever I decide to do. I don't want to give up as I know nursing is best for her. Now I understand why so many moms don't breast feed and have the same excuses I have been coming up with. I'm not producing enough, my baby eats to much, it hurts really bad, or I just don't like it. Im not saying everyone can breast feed but i caught myself using these. All of the above can be true to a degree but now that I have been fighting to continue I realize your baby could feed a little from you and then from formula or pumped milk. Your body will produce what it needs if you pump.. which is such a pain!! Honestly breastfeeding takes Soo long and is such a challenge. I get frustrated daily. On the other hand the benefits out weigh it all. So I take it day by day.. Feeding and pumping and feeding and pumping.  Life with a newborn is busy! This is my typical feeding. She feeds off me 30 to 40 minutes then I burp or change her... Then i give her pumped milk in a bottle if she is still hungry.. Then I rock her to sleep.. If I'm lucky!! Then after I pump. This process takes 1:30to 2 hours. Then I have about an hour or 45 minutes to my self. I can eat, clean up a little, wash pump stuff then I gotta go again! This is if she's not fussy... Then no pumping or sleeping gets done. This us my routine... Throw in a visitor or two daily and I starve or become more sleep deprived... Since I can't be rude and take a nap or go eat a snack from my fridge. My family and friends have been pretty awesome.. Bringing lunch or dinner and even sitting in the room while I feed. Makes my life a little easier. Week 2 please get easier!